she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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