I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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