Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
