my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.