idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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