so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize