yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
