i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
