home. puking in laundry basket.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
