I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
