Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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