the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
