I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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