A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
