fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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