I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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