dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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