I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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