I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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