Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I would fuck him just for his dog
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
