Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
