Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
