On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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