And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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