Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
