You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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