what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
