??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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