no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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