I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
