I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
