His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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