She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
