He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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