i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
