Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
