How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
