Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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