Don't you send me to vm
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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