She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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