Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
