Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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