I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
