so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
