I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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