sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize