Your face is a jimmy john
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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