If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
