don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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