We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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