if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize