Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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