Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
