I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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