i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
