No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
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Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
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I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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