3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
